Season of Changes...

These past few weeks have been full of changes for our little household. And although in the long run, the changes will be so good for our family.... I have a hard time with changes... I get emotional.... I withdraw from everyone, except for immediate family.

The biggest change was closing my little home daycare. You see, I was enjoying a 5 year leave of absence from my government career in order to stay home with Luke during his childhood years. The original plan was to go back to work on a full time basis in 2012. However in recent months, I've felt a very strong desire to homeschool Luke and have been praying for a way to make it work - balancing a need for flexibility in our days with our need for me to bring in an income to the household budget.

A few weeks ago, I received an answer to my prayers - I worked out an arrangement with my government employer in order to return to work on a part time basis (2 days a week in the office and 1 day a week at home). And so I needed to close my little home daycare. I knew that I would feel emotional about saying goodbye to the little children I've grown to love - I just didn't anticipate the depths of my emotions!!

And of course little Luke misses his friends too! It's a big change for us all to have our home back to ourselves.

My first day back to work was on March 31st. And it was a difficult one for me. You see, in Luke's 2 1/2 years, I've NEVER been away from him for a full day. And even though Daddy will be caring for Luke while I go to work - it was still hard for me to let go. By the 3rd day - Luke was cluing in to what it meant when "Momma has to go to work now"... he was clinging to my legs with all of his little might and crying and saying "Momma, stay home and snuggle with me". And Luke has NEVER been a clingy child. That morning I cried the entire 30 minute commute into work.

I KNOW that I'm not the first Momma to leave their toddler in order to go to work. I KNOW that... but somehow it doesn't make it any easier.... LOL!!

I know that if I can make this work - it will be so good for my family. We will have so much more quality time together - time to go to museums, fishing, trips to parks, walks, arts and crafts and so much more...

I just have to get past this heartbreaking agony of adjusting to spending a few days a week apart from him.

Tell me it gets easier....